Last Thursday

Apr 27

Last Thursday was the 451st anniversary of William Shakespeare’s birthday.

Last Thursday I saw my first violet in the yard.

Last Thursday my favorite beech tree in the woods dropped its old leaves.

Last Thursday it snowed in the middle of the day.

Last Thursday I lost one of my dearest friends.

B and T

After the joy of an extra two years with Tilly after her original cancer diagnosis, we faced the sad news that it had returned. We’d hoped for a few more weeks, just long enough for her to savor more warm days, just long enough for me to finish classes and spend entire days in the yard or on the porch with her.

Last Thursday when I returned home from work, it was clear that it was time to ease her out of this IMG_2335life. I held her while Neal rushed home, and together we stroked her and murmured our gratitude and love to her while we waited for our incredible vet to come to the house.

We’re sad, of course. Tilly lived here before I did. Her love brought me back from the saddest periods of my adult life. Her empathy and sweetness, her humor and grace, her joy and devotion created hundreds of sweet memories. Tilly is the dog who made me a dog person.

Last Thursday a tear ripped in our world. We’ll look for her button eyes gazing at us, for her to tuck her head on a heart, in a lap. We’ll miss her.

Everyone thinks they have the best dog in the world. They do. I know I did.

 

14 comments

  1. My heart goes out to you and Neal and Oskar, too, as you navigate life without a compass. May you find grace and peace and may your sweet memories carry you through the days of grieving for your dear friend.

  2. I’m so sorry…

  3. Mary Lou /

    Oh Beverly – I am sorry to hear of your loss.

  4. Oh Tilly, I am sure going to miss you! You had a special way to gaze into one’s heart, your “regard” spoke volumes. Keep an eye on Maddie! Beverly and Neal, I know how much you loved and cared for her, you took such wonderful care of her throughout her illness. I know her loss leaves a big void, and I pray that the great memories you’ve shared with her bring you comfort. hugs

  5. Monica Garcia /

    Dear Beverly, my heart breaks for your family’s loss. It is a very special thing to have known a dog that made you a dog person. Blessings to you all.

  6. Dear Bev.
    I’m sad to hear about your wonderful dog. They are truly our teachers modelling unconditional love and devotion.
    May I share this with you?
    It brings me comfort in my lower moments.

    The top 10 things dead people want to tell living people are:
    1. They’re not dead.
    2. They’re sorry for any pain they caused.
    3. There’s no such thing as a devil or hell.
    4. They were ready to go when they went.
    5. You’re not ready.
    6. They finally understand what they were missing.
    7. Nothing can prepare you for the beauty of the moment you arrive.
    8. Don’t try to understand this now, but life is exceedingly fair.
    9. Your pets are as crazy, brilliant and loving, here, as they were there.
    10. Life really is all about love, but not just loving those who love you…
    In their own words,
    The Universe

    I so sorry that you’re sad. I hope you feel better soon.
    Love and Light,
    Jeannie

  7. Ellen /

    Beautiful life, beautiful dog, beautiful friend.

    My condolences to you and yours.

  8. Rachael /

    Oh, lovey. My heart goes to yours. xoxo

  9. We went through this last summer with our Dixie so I understand your sadness and pain. I’m sorry.

  10. So, so sorry to hear this. I know how much she meant to you. Sending love and good thoughts and prayers.

  11. Laurie /

    I’m so sorry. We just lost one of our 16 year-old cats to cancer. Wishing you well…

  12. I’m so sorry to hear about dear Tilly. My heart breaks for you. Today is the 7th anniversary of my wonderful Jake’s death. I’m still grieving. Here is a quote I particularly love, about Dog Heaven. I hope it makes you smile a bit.

    “God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired from running and barking and eating ham-sandwich biscuits, the dogs find a cloud bed for sleeping. God watches over each one of them. And there are no bad dreams.” — Cynthia Rylant

  13. Dear Beverly, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Tilly. The loss of a pet is profoundly sad. My thoughts are with you and Neil.

  14. I’m so sorry for your loss and so grateful that she brought you the great love of a dog. I’ll give Boone an extra pat tonight and hope that Tilly came across some great new friends in dog heaven.

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